Well, I have already failed. To be honest, I didn’t really set myself up for success. On Tuesday I became increasingly aware that I had not decided on my Lenten discipline. I could resort to the old standby’s…no chocolate, no meat, no wine…but the truth of the matter is none of those really were that important to me…well, except the chocolate...I just couldn’t deny myself those last few Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies. And then I thought I would try to work my way through the Rev. Nadia Bolz-Weber’s list of 40 ideas for Lent, but then I didn’t adhere to day 2…walk, bike, carpool or bus to work. Then I decided I wouldn’t buy anything that wasn’t “necessary” and minutes later I ordered a couple of DVDs off Amazon. On Wednesday, just moments after receiving and distributing ashes, having just said the confessional words “For all false judgments, for uncharitable thoughts toward our neighbors, and for our prejudice and contempt toward those who differ from us” I was screaming at my computer screen because my classmates had not made their first weekly post yet and I hated them for it. Not only have I failed so early into the Lenten season, but I felt like there was no chance to succeed. Where am I supposed to go from here?
Then I read somewhere (and I’ve looked everywhere to find the exact book or website that I read this), that we aren’t supposed to be able to fast for 40 days like Jesus did without some kind of struggle. It is our human nature, one that is full of fear, power struggles, self-involvement, pride and apathy that keeps us from being able to resist temptation. Jesus didn’t have the same problems that we do, which is why he’s able to say no to those temptations offered by the devil in Matthew. However, our human nature should not be used as an excuse to hide behind…even when we fail, we keep walking in the wilderness with Jesus during these 40 days so that we can reflect on and acknowledge the ways in which we have separated ourselves from God and one another. In other words, we mess it up, we confess it, and we keep going. In the reading from Genesis, we have the first temptation and the first failure…Adam and Eve are seduced by the serpent and the knowledge of good and evil. Like each of us, they succumb to temptation because it’s exactly that…temptation. The tree and the fruit are beautiful, the opportunity for knowledge and power is great. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with beauty, knowledge and power, the desire for these things ultimately led to failure for the original plan. Yet, God is good and gracious…instead of death, there is life…perhaps not the intended life, but life none the less. And there is a chance for redemption. In Matthew, we see that the hope for redemption is Jesus…his ability to refuse temptation and give all of us new life in a more fulfilling way. The temptations that Jesus is presented with are all about self-involved love of worldly goods and power…how easy it would have been for him to say yes to any of these. Yet, he says no. His “no” is divine forgiveness for us. His “no” provides us the opportunity to be happy when our transgressions are forgiven. His “no” helps us to be able to offer up our confessions and truly seek repentance. And so I think perhaps this Lent I will worry less about Thin Mints and checking off lists of practices. I think I’d much rather spend time in prayer and reflection about the gift of forgiveness, about the desire to be free from self-involvement, and then be happy, like the psalmist, that I have made my confession and seek new beginnings. May this season of Lent be a blessing for you as you reflect on and practice forgiveness, repentance and prayer. God is good and there is always hope for redemption.
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AuthorI don't know what the future of the church is, but I know that we will continue to be a place of sanctuary and hope, working towards healing in the world. Archives
October 2017
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